Been a very long time since i have gotten on this... kinda sad... well i guess i could tell what happened during the summer...
First the people who i guess WERE my friends are not. it started when i was at my friend Amber's house and i had gotten mad cuz my supposable friends were basically ignoring me even though they weren't mad at me. so me being mad i started saying mean things about only two of them. and amber helped too by saying she has no room to talk cuz she's so fat after i called one of my friends fat. The other one i said that her butt was too big for her legs. which she has said about me before. so somehow they found out after amber decided to hang out with them. so i guess she was mad that i went to the lake without her when i didn't plan on going myself. They got mad and one of them harassed me by not leaving me alone when i said so my parents called hers and threatened to call the police on her if she didn't leave me alone. and amber dated my half brother and actually told me she did do it then when i asked her recently she didn't believe me
Now that the bad part is done onto the kinda good part. this summer my uncle's gf brought her 3 sons down to meet my family. well i didn't know that this was going to happen so i got woke up saying i needed to go take these ppl riding. so i got up and they 3 boys met me when i first woke up in my pjs. there was one named tristan who is 11 then there is brandon which is 13 then the last one is Schuylar which was my age 16. so yeah i had to meet then while i was in my pjs. then i had to go get dressed so i could take them all horse back riding. rode for a bit then i had to go play at graduation so i got ready for that and when i came back every1 said he stared at my butt when i walked away lol. so after i got back we rode horses again until like midnight. i was getting cold so he gave me his hoodie. so we hung out for awhile that way everytime he came down to visit his mom. the first day he asked his mom for my number. 2 weeks after txting each other everyday non-stop he asked me out and we started dating/ then my mom wanted to move to alabama and we decided that my uncle and his gf would come too and her 3 sons. First me and my little brother had to get there so we could go to school but i wouldn't go unless my bf came with me. so it was decided he could then we were getting ready to go got down there it was good half the time we were by ourselves so it was good. then his mom got down here and after a week it started to get bad. my mom wanted to talk to her about why she was leaving and she started yelling at my mom. then she said she was leaving and i fell down crying. each one of the 3 boys would come over and comfort me when the other 2 couldn't. the one that surprised me the most was brandon he never acted like he cared for ne1 but he gave me a hug and said everything was going to be alright. their mom treated schuylar like prisoner walked him to the bathroom and everything. b4 they were going to leave my mom said schuylar could stay with us if he didn't want to go and he said he would stay. so we decided to go back and he stayed with us. After his mom left my bf told me that his mom threatened to have me killed. i didn't do nething to her. i hated her and i still do.
that happened and once back in nebraska everything was ok except for now me and schuylar live 80 miles apart. we still see each other every weekend but its hard during the week. Everything is good with school and now me and him have been dating 7 months and we haven't even had a fight yet. hopefully we won't ever but you never know. that's what happened with my summer a lot of drama. too much for me. not to mention i broke out in a stress rash (yes it exists.) Thats what happened and even though i hate his mom she did bring me and him together. it's not incest because they aren't married and i'm not even related to him by blood at all. thats it i'm done for today
Monday, January 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Poem Title: I Miss
I miss the beautiful eyes that I can sail through forever.
I miss the smile that send me to heaven.
I miss the mouth that says the loveliest words.
I miss the hair that every woman is envious of.
I miss the touch that comforts me in times of despair.
I miss every part of a second I spent with you.
I miss the laugh that I rejoice at.
I miss the tears that call on me to wash.
I miss the smell! Oh, that pleasant odor.
I miss you far and even more when you are near.
I miss the letters that you wrote.
I miss that words you repeat.
I miss the first time when you said you loved me.
I miss the times when I had to apologize for being unkind to you.
I miss the times when you forgive me.
I miss the colors that you like because I don't see them anymore.
I miss the place where we sat and talked till dawn.
I miss your name so much. I repeat it to myself everyday!!
I miss the dreams that we dreamt of.
I miss the hopes that we hoped together.
I miss the smile that send me to heaven.
I miss the mouth that says the loveliest words.
I miss the hair that every woman is envious of.
I miss the touch that comforts me in times of despair.
I miss every part of a second I spent with you.
I miss the laugh that I rejoice at.
I miss the tears that call on me to wash.
I miss the smell! Oh, that pleasant odor.
I miss you far and even more when you are near.
I miss the letters that you wrote.
I miss that words you repeat.
I miss the first time when you said you loved me.
I miss the times when I had to apologize for being unkind to you.
I miss the times when you forgive me.
I miss the colors that you like because I don't see them anymore.
I miss the place where we sat and talked till dawn.
I miss your name so much. I repeat it to myself everyday!!
I miss the dreams that we dreamt of.
I miss the hopes that we hoped together.
Song/Poem Title: Him
He’s not here he’s gone
My heart is breaking
Does he know what he does to me
My heart is aching for him
His love, I never felt, my heart forever melts
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
I want to be his happiness
Only to be seen through
He caused me so much pain
I hate it please save me
Save me from this horrible path
He Made me so miserable without him
I can hardly stand it.
I wish he would come back to me.
My Love is flowing along the creek of broken hearts.
Please save me, Take me away from this pain
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
I gave him my life and he took it and threw it away
Help me, Help me escape his grasp upon my heart.
He is destroying my life.
My heart is breaking quickly and silently.
Just waiting for him
Wasting away in a lonely form
Barely alive with little hope
The pain I want to washed away.
The loneliness I can't stand.
Please help my lonely heart heal
Turning down all other offers
Afraid he might come to me
My heart shattering.
Searching never finding.
My heart is destroying from the inside out.
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
The pain is blowing my mind.
He told me he loved me through and through.
My once true love has dissappeared.
leaving me for the crows.
My heart is melting forever more.
Please help me with this pain.
It is destroying my life.
I hate the feeling that comes with it.
Fear is entering my heart.
I will not become a fountain of blood.
Save my life else i shall surely die.
My light went with him.
I am freezing he stole my warmth.
Please bring him back into my arms.
I want him back.
He was my life.
I see no reason to move forward.
I have no other reason to move along this path.
Come home and turn my life around.
Please just protect me from the cold.
My heart is breaking
Does he know what he does to me
My heart is aching for him
His love, I never felt, my heart forever melts
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
I want to be his happiness
Only to be seen through
He caused me so much pain
I hate it please save me
Save me from this horrible path
He Made me so miserable without him
I can hardly stand it.
I wish he would come back to me.
My Love is flowing along the creek of broken hearts.
Please save me, Take me away from this pain
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
I gave him my life and he took it and threw it away
Help me, Help me escape his grasp upon my heart.
He is destroying my life.
My heart is breaking quickly and silently.
Just waiting for him
Wasting away in a lonely form
Barely alive with little hope
The pain I want to washed away.
The loneliness I can't stand.
Please help my lonely heart heal
Turning down all other offers
Afraid he might come to me
My heart shattering.
Searching never finding.
My heart is destroying from the inside out.
Why does he choose her
Doesn’t he see it hurts me
I want to feel his love
My heart is forever melting with him no where near
My mind is shattering as quickly as my heart
The pain is blowing my mind.
He told me he loved me through and through.
My once true love has dissappeared.
leaving me for the crows.
My heart is melting forever more.
Please help me with this pain.
It is destroying my life.
I hate the feeling that comes with it.
Fear is entering my heart.
I will not become a fountain of blood.
Save my life else i shall surely die.
My light went with him.
I am freezing he stole my warmth.
Please bring him back into my arms.
I want him back.
He was my life.
I see no reason to move forward.
I have no other reason to move along this path.
Come home and turn my life around.
Please just protect me from the cold.
Song Title: How Could You Be So Cold
You were the I desired
The one I curled up next to
But all you could think of was how good your old girlfriend was
That is why we broke up
Then I started to wonder
How could you be so cold
To leave me all alone
I need a lover to protect me all the time
I’m just a delicate little flower
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so cold
I wander around
Looking for you
But all I found
Was a sad little girl
Sitting alone in the dark
Then I realized that little girl was me
I cried and I cried
Then I started to wonder
How could you be so cold
To leave me all alone
I need a lover to protect me all the time
I’m just a delicate little flower
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so cold
I shared my feelings I opened up to you
But all you gave me was we’re through
I wish I could be with you all the time
But now I’m alone and now I wonder
How could you be so cold(so cold)
To leave me all alone(all alone)
I need a lover to protect me all the time (I need I need)
I’m just a delicate little flower (little flower)
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so-
How could you be so cold.
But all you could think of was how good your old girlfriend was
That is why we broke up
Then I started to wonder
How could you be so cold
To leave me all alone
I need a lover to protect me all the time
I’m just a delicate little flower
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so cold
I wander around
Looking for you
But all I found
Was a sad little girl
Sitting alone in the dark
Then I realized that little girl was me
I cried and I cried
Then I started to wonder
How could you be so cold
To leave me all alone
I need a lover to protect me all the time
I’m just a delicate little flower
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so cold
I shared my feelings I opened up to you
But all you gave me was we’re through
I wish I could be with you all the time
But now I’m alone and now I wonder
How could you be so cold(so cold)
To leave me all alone(all alone)
I need a lover to protect me all the time (I need I need)
I’m just a delicate little flower (little flower)
Not meant to be left alone
But how could you be so-
How could you be so cold.
Song Title: Never
Never had a chance to run
Never had a chance to hide
What's the point of waiting here
Always gonna be left alone
Always gonna be by myself
Why am i still here
Cause it's never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one's gonna show you what it's like
To live without a heart
Anyone who never had a heart
Anyone who never cried
Is one still here
The life of a true person
The life of fallen one
Is there any point here
Cause it's never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one's gonna show you what it's like
To live without a heart
Is one without you
Is one without me
An angel or an angel of death
No one’s gonna show you
No one’s gonna tell you
How to live a lie
Cause it’s never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one’s gonna show you what it’s like
To loose your heart
Don’t go running
Don’t go hiding
While you’re still here
Never gonna tell a lie
Never gonna waste your time
Without a point here
Cause it’s never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one’s gonna show you what it’s like
To loose your heart
Loose your heart
Never had a chance to hide
What's the point of waiting here
Always gonna be left alone
Always gonna be by myself
Why am i still here
Cause it's never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one's gonna show you what it's like
To live without a heart
Anyone who never had a heart
Anyone who never cried
Is one still here
The life of a true person
The life of fallen one
Is there any point here
Cause it's never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one's gonna show you what it's like
To live without a heart
Is one without you
Is one without me
An angel or an angel of death
No one’s gonna show you
No one’s gonna tell you
How to live a lie
Cause it’s never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one’s gonna show you what it’s like
To loose your heart
Don’t go running
Don’t go hiding
While you’re still here
Never gonna tell a lie
Never gonna waste your time
Without a point here
Cause it’s never gonna get any easier
Keep on walking through the rain
Cause no one’s gonna show you what it’s like
To loose your heart
Loose your heart
Song Title: Don't Turn Around
Verse 1:
Can't have you
That's what they say
You're not good enough
To stay
Don't give up
Don't stay down
And
Chorus:
Don't turn around
Keep your eyes forward
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Verse 2:
When there done with you
Show no weakness
They'll try to push
You off the edge
Don't stay down
Get right up
And
Chorus:
Don't turn around
Keep your eyes forword
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Verse 3:
They'll push you all they can
So don't fall into their plan
Just be strong
Stay powerful
And
Chorus: Don't turn around
Keep your eyes foreword
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Don't turn around
Can't have you
That's what they say
You're not good enough
To stay
Don't give up
Don't stay down
And
Chorus:
Don't turn around
Keep your eyes forward
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Verse 2:
When there done with you
Show no weakness
They'll try to push
You off the edge
Don't stay down
Get right up
And
Chorus:
Don't turn around
Keep your eyes forword
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Verse 3:
They'll push you all they can
So don't fall into their plan
Just be strong
Stay powerful
And
Chorus: Don't turn around
Keep your eyes foreword
Be strong be hopeful
Don't waste your life away
Don't turn around
Don't turn around
A Change
i am gonna change this blog from a blog about my life to blog for my songs... i will post them soon enough
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